Blog: Becoming Whole
The Elephant in the Room — Are You Living in Fight or Flight?
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room.
Not the one we avoid in conversations.
Not the one we pretend isn’t there.
The real elephant in the room… is what’s happening inside of you.
That constant tension in your shoulders.
That racing mind that won’t shut off.
That feeling like you’re always “on edge,” even when nothing is wrong.
Many of us are living in a state of fight or flight — and we don’t even realize it.
Fight or flight is a biological response. It was designed to protect us. Thousands of years ago, it helped our ancestors survive real danger. If a threat appeared, the brain sent signals to release adrenaline and cortisol. The heart beat faster. Muscles tightened. Breathing changed. The body prepared to fight or run.
It was meant to be temporary.
But today, the threats are different.
They’re not lions or predators.
They’re deadlines. Bills. Relationship stress. Trauma. Overthinking. Expectations. Social media. Past wounds that never healed.
And for many of us, the body never gets the message that the danger has passed.
So we stay in survival mode.
When you’re stuck in fight or flight mode, life doesn’t feel peaceful — it feels urgent.
You may find yourself easily irritated, anxious, or overwhelmed.
You might struggle to sleep, struggle to focus, or struggle to feel joy.
Your nervous system is constantly scanning for danger, even when you’re safe.
And here’s the hard truth:
You cannot thrive when your body believes you are constantly trying to survive.
When you’re in fight or flight mode long term, it affects everything.
Your physical health.
Your mental clarity.
Your relationships.
Your decision making.
Even your sense of purpose.
You may call it stress.
You may call it burnout.
You may call it “just being busy.”
But the reality is — your nervous system is stuck in protection mode.
And that’s the elephant in the room.
Now here’s the empowering part:
If your nervous system learned this pattern, it can learn a new one.
Your brain has something called neuroplasticity — the ability to rewire and create new pathways. That means you are not permanently wired for stress. You are not destined to live in survival mode forever. You can teach your body what safety feels like again.
But it starts with awareness.
You cannot heal what you refuse to acknowledge.
You cannot shift what you pretend isn’t there.
So ask yourself honestly:
Am I living in constant tension?
Do I feel safe in my own body?
When was the last time I truly felt calm — not distracted, not numbed out, but genuinely calm?
For some of us, calm feels unfamiliar… even uncomfortable.
Because we’ve been in fight or flight for so long that peace feels foreign.
Learning to step out of survival mode is not weakness.
It is not laziness.
It is not selfish.
It is necessary.
It starts with small, intentional moments.
Deep breathing that tells your body it’s okay to slow down.
Setting boundaries that protect your energy.
Allowing yourself to rest without guilt.
Seeking support, mentorship, or healing when needed.
Choosing awareness over autopilot.
When you begin to calm your nervous system, everything changes.
Your mind becomes clearer.
Your body begins to heal.
Your relationships improve.
Your purpose becomes sharper.
You move from reacting… to responding.
From surviving… to living.
So today, I invite you to stop ignoring the elephant in the room.
If you’ve been stuck in fight or flight mode, acknowledge it — without shame. Your body has been trying to protect you. Thank it for doing its job. And then gently begin teaching it that it’s safe to experience something more than survival.
You deserve more than just getting through the day.
You deserve peace in your body.
Clarity in your mind.
Joy in your life.
The elephant in the room isn’t there to embarrass you.
It’s there to wake you up.
The question is:
Are you ready to step out of survival mode…
and step into the life you were meant to live?
Very Truly Here to Serve,
Sharon Hollis, LMT, Life Coach, Public Speaker